Meditation is the process of getting in touch with yourself. Touch is an extremely wide set of senses, including the entire skin, with all its discrete areas: hands, belly, face, genitals, feet. Touch also includes the inside of the body: the tongue, mouth, throat, and many other senses that tell us what is happening inside us. When we feel the breath moving in our bodies, this is touch. When we feel ourselves relaxing and our muscles letting go, this is also touch.
Touch is a world of sensuality, with an infinite variety of pleasures. In meditation, because your eyes are closed and visual stimulation (except for your mental images) is reduced, the tactile dimension becomes very strong. It is this rich sense of touch that makes meditation so enjoyable and healing. This aspect of meditative experience is often overlooked.
When we love someone, we want to touch them and be touched. This is a natural and healthy craving, and can be one of the great joys of life. Touch is a silent language that speaks of things more deeply than words. There are many kinds of touch: shaking hands, kissing, hugging, cuddling, massaging, warm embraces. Sex is a special form of touch and we deal with it in its own chapter.
“Touch is bonding, and serves to renew and affirm our connections with each other. ”
It is important to know how to both give and receive satisfying touch. In finding the right way to touch each other in the moment, we “stay in touch” and avoid getting “out of touch.”
In the realm of touch there is a syzygy between sensitivity and protection. We may need to protect ourselves, “toughen our skin,” to deal with situations at work. Then we may become unavailable for loving touch, and in this way, an otherwise wonderful relationship may be ruined.
If you have experienced abuse or neglect in the past, or intense emotional pain, you may have developed the habit of chronically tensing your muscles to block out sensations in the skin. Meditation can help to heal many kinds of touch trauma.
