Befriend Your Body

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    Instinctive Meditation

    How Is Instinctive Meditation Different From Other Approaches?

    You don’t have to sit still.

    Nothing in this universe is ever still. Physics teaches us that everything in the universe exists as a wave: light, sound, atoms that make our body. Don’t force yourself to sit still - move if you need to. Be refreshed by the flow of energy (pranashakti) in your body.

    You don’t have to make your mind blank. Or quiet your mind. Or get rid of your thoughts.

    Your mind is a mystery, a brilliant network of billions of neurons working together seamlessly to allow you to experience life.

    In meditation, we can allow our mind to expand into the vastness of the universe. Melt into the space where all thoughts come from. Learn to be so immersed in meditation that thoughts fade away on their own.

    Do I need to be detached to meditate?

    No. Detachment can be harmful for people with families, jobs, lives.

    Instead, meditation can lead you to discovering that everything in the world is connected. Meditation gives you the state of fullness, where you feel in touch with your Soul and the Soul of the world. Meditation is about connection.

    Do I need to suppress or kill my ego?

    “Ego” is the sense of “I am”, the sense of individuality. There is no need to kill your individuality in order to meditate. Celebrate your unique self. Dare to be your unique self. Let your meditation match who you are.

    No need to sit cross-legged either.

    Very few people can sit cross-legged for prolonged periods of time. The rest damage their knees. Be kind to your body. Give yourself the freedom to choose the position that allows you to be comfortable and give into rest and release.

    Touch, Magnetism and Aura

    The world is in the midst of a war against touch, unfortunately. It is necessary but still is a complete interruption of the natural.

    If you want to get a sense of how human beings like to touch each other, watch dogs and people interact, the desire to touch each other every few minutes and the deep satisfaction this brings. Or if you have young children, notice how they love touch.

    Around the world, the custom of shaking hands is now seen as dangerous. Standing two meters apart is encouraged. Even if you personally still like shaking hands, people you meet may fall into the habit unconsciously and shake hands, and then have a panic attack about it a few moments later.

    Because of this many people are going around in a state of touch deprivation. Starved for touch even more than usual. Even before the pandemic, many people were living in a constant state of touch deprivation. If you are a yoga asana teacher, you may have found that some of your students come to class in order to be touched. That little adjustment may be the only real human touch they have all day.

    As a meditator, you can give a small gift to everyone who beholds you by being in the delight of touch continually. We are always being held by gravity, wherever we are, unless we are in the Space Station orbiting the Earth. When outdoors we are caressed by the sunlight and the breeze.

    If you increase your delight in simple touch, in light touch, you can gain great pleasure by this elemental touch.

    By living this way, you will be modeling how to be in touch with the elements and gain satisfaction from your senses.

    I am speaking from experience. For me, one side-effect of meditation, starting when I was 18 (52 years ago!) was that my touch sense popped open, and standing 6 feet or 2 meters away from someone feels intimate. I feel like I am touching them, in contact with their personal energy field. Actually it seems to me that we all have fields that go out in a sphere around us, to about 2 meters usually. Some people are larger. So standing 2 meters away means there is considerable overlap.

    If you have children and dogs, you probably touch them a LOT, and enjoy this immensely.

    When you go out into the world, however, you need to switch to a completely different mode, one you may have never inhabited before.

    I am sort of used to it after 52 years but it still feels a bit strange. We all now have to, perhaps forever, forget about shaking hands. So when you interact with strangers, you can train yourself to be different in your body.

    Your Prana Body

    Before leaving home, you might do some magnetic hands exercises, activating your prana-senses. Breathe in and out with your hands dancing the flow of breath and prana, in and out and up and down. "Paint" the inside of your biomagnetic prana sphere, with a light touch of your hands.

    With a thought, you can activate your force field, which is an energetic boundary around your form. Your aura, or prana body, is your sense of your personal space. Your sensations will vary greatly from moment to moment, most likely, but it's an interesting adventure.

    People who are aware of their personal magnetism and the field of it, are perceived as having "a presence." Others can sense your field, on a quiet level.

    When I am aware of my magnetic field, in other words, standing way far away from someone still feels intimate. I have the space to notice the sensations in my body, in my midline torso (the sensors we have in the middle of the body - the forehead, throat, chest, belly, and lower pelvis). Tracking the sensations in your body when you are interacting with someone enriches the flow of the conversation.

    Touch Meditation

    Some simple touch explorations to make part of your way of being in your body, day to day.

    1. - Notice your morning tea or coffee, and food, as TOUCH. The touch sensations that go with drinking and eating.

    2. - Develop little things, tiny favorite noticing of sensations such as the touch of your feet on the floor, the touch to your fingers of your favorite everyday objects, and the touch on your skin of your clothes. Train yourself to spend an extra 2 seconds feeling the touch of the sun on your skin, the touch of the air inside your nose.

    3. - Create touch rituals, such as massaging your whole body after getting out of the shower. Expose yourself to temperature differences such as turning the water on cool or cold at the end of your shower, and savor that shock and tingle.

    4. - Before and after meditation, touch your hands together, sort of in the "namaste" pose, but in order to feel the touch of the skin as each hand meets the other. Notice if you have some magnetic sensing in your hands, if your skin is alert to the prana sensations, which vary from tingling, to magnetism, to a taffy-like stickiness, to pressure, or just "something." Lightly touch your forehead, throat, heart, and belly, with the intention of blessing and greeting.

    5. - After meditation, sit there for an extra 30 seconds and notice the subtle physical sensations of the space between you and any other objects. There is a very quiet, almost un-noticeable sensation of "proximity," of the spatial relationship between your body and the physical world around you in all directions.

    This is a little thing you can do to enhance your tactile sense of your own life and help others get used to this weird new set of rules we are supposed to live by.


    Trust Your Instincts

    Meditation is a built-in ability. Your body already knows how to do it, as part of your survival instincts. The ability is there, in your nerves and muscles and metabolism, always ready and waiting for you to access it. There are thousands of techniques for meditating, which means there is something for everyone.

    Meditation is the action of riding the instincts into your inner world. There you can rest, and at times rest from action completely. The instincts — hunting, homing, grooming, feeding, mating, exploring, resting, healing, adapting — are the wise motions of life. Meditation techniques access the instincts in infinite combinations and permutations.

    The most important techniques are as simple as paying attention to your breathing. Find something interesting about your breath and hang out with it. Breath is our main food – we breathe about 22,000 times a day, and the oxygen in the air feeds the body. It's the oxygen that lets us burn the fuel to generate heat and power to move.

    Meditation techniques are things people invented or discovered going on within themselves, then systematized and put into a formal system. But they emerge from an extremely informal, intimate way of being with life. The techniques the meditation traditions have so diligently collected and preserved over the millennia are there to remind you to create your own system. Always remember this. Coaches and teachers can help you to access your inner knowledge, but the basic skill is already there inside you. I advocate an instinctive, passionate, and natural approach to meditation as the best way to begin and continue.

    The six books I talk about on this site - Meditation Made Easy, Breath Taking, Whole Body Meditations, Meditation Secrets for Women, Meditation 24/7, and The Radiance Sutras - are tools you can use to begin meditation, and if you already are meditating, sustain, enrich your practice.

    I call the instincts "the wise motions of life," because they are deep impulses through which life is always renewing itself, evolving itself, creating its art.

    What Are the Instincts?

    They are the moves you are always engaged in, the rhythm and melody of your dance with life. You know what they are and you don't think about them.

    Hunting is an instinct. If you are here on this website, you may be hunting for information about how to improve your life. Surfing the web is enabled by computers, but the real power comes from inside us, the human instinct to figure out how the world works. Curiosity is an instinct. Exploring is an instinctive behavior.

    Making a trail is instinctive – if you found your way here, and perhaps bookmark the site, that is making a trail. When you go shopping for food or clothes, you are engaged in multiple instincts: you follow a trail or series of roads you know to get to the market or mall; you gather things you need, or you browse and search for things you need; and you bring them back to your nest. Saying something is an "instinct" is just a way of saying it is natural, a natural move.

    We each have our own favorite instincts, combinations of instincts, and sequences. As individuals, we have preferred styles of activities, and things we don't like so much. Raising children involves many instincts: nurturing, bonding, communicating, protecting, setting boundaries, guarding boundaries, nesting. And, of course, getting in to position to have children usually involves the mating instinct.

    The process of meditating itself is very playful. Playing is an instinct; all mammals play, and in playing they rehearse actions, practice moving in a coordinated manner, and engage their talents. When we meditate, the body gets a chance to rest more deeply than sleep; resting is an instinct, and we all do a form of resting every day called sleeping. Sleeping is an instinct, and when we sleep we dream. What is a dream? While we are asleep, the brain creates, directs and acts in mental movies, which we sometimes remember when we wake up.

    When we meditate, the feeling of meditation itself alternates between resting, playing, communing, dreaming, and so on. Sometimes we feel we are being fed, nourished, by the peacefulness of the meditation. Other times we feel we are being stimulated, awakened, excited by the meditation experience.

    Everyday life is structured around the instincts:

    • Resting – sleeping and dreaming.

    • Feeding - yourself and your family and pets.

    • Grooming - bathing and getting dressed, doing your hair. Picking the nits out of your children’s fur.

    • Gathering - foraging by going to the store or the garden and bringing food home.

    • Hunting – searching for what you need in the environment, shopping for the best buys

    • Exploring – looking and sniffing around to discover what interests you. Going on an adventure. Expanding your horizons.

    • Homing – the navigational skills to find your way home when you have been out exploring.

    • Nesting – building a home or tending to it, decorating, cleaning. Being cozy, snuggling in bed.

    • Socializing – talking on the phone, getting together with friends.

    • Playing - having fun, doing things for sheer enjoyment.

    • Courting – flirting, considering possible mates.

    • Mating – developing a love relationship. Having sex.

    • Procreating – the urge to bear children.

    • Communicating – expressing, singing out, saying what you know.

    • Communing with nature.

    • Protecting - the self, the cubs, and the tribe.

    • Establishing dominance – competing in the workplace. Finding your place in the pecking order.